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I Am A F​*​%​king Unicorn

from by Emma Dean

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lyrics

I AM A FUCKING UNICORN

My whole life I thought I was a horse
A horse a horse I thought I was of course
Strong and lean and a running machine
But you could pass by me and I would not be seen

Then one morn I awoke
And decided then and there
I would not be a horse no more
And so I told my friends that…

CHORUS
I am a fucking unicorn
I fart glitter and sparkles from my bum
And just in case you did not hear me
I…I…I am a fucking unicorn!

I arose from the darkness and rode right through the storm
This time I had a shiny silver horn
My whole life I’ve been waiting for this day
When I could shit rainbows instead of just eat hay

So to anyone who doubted me
This is not a disguise
You used to look right through me
But now I burn your eyes

CHORUS

Why does this make me feel so much better?
I’m walking on air, I’m magic, I’m floating
And I think you know it
I think you know that there’s something about me
Something that I want to show
‘Cos I’m horny
NO! Not like that!
Well sometimes I am
But not just right now
But there’s a fucking magic horn on my head
Did you hear what I said?
THERE’S A HORN ON MY HEAD!
I might look like a rainbow
I might look like a cupcake
I might look pretty fab
But if you cross me I’ll turn you into a kebab
I might look like a rainbow
I might look like a cupcake
I might look pretty fab
But if you cross me I’ll turn you into a kebab

CHORUS

credits

from Broken Romantics: A Vicious Song Cycle, released November 30, 2017
Words and Music by Emma Dean
Performed by Emma Dean, Tony Dean and Richard Grantham
Recorded, produced and mixed by Tony Dean @ Tiny Dream Studios

Artwork by Katie Swan available at emmadean.com/listenandshop_emma.htm

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about

Emma Dean Brisbane, Australia

Emma Dean is an imperfect, romantic and passionate human-being who loves to write theatrical pop songs about love and the human spirit. When not on stage,
she is a passionate advocate of the magical healing qualities of group singing, and proudly leads a colourful community choir called Cheep Trill who she considers to be her extended family.
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